Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

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Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

Postby Justin on Wed Jan 13, 2010 8:11 am

First Episode Here:

Spoiler:
*curtains open*

Kristin is in her large, triple story mansion with indoor sauna on Christmas day completing yet another assignment for her 20th year in university.

*lights on*

Kristin: Hmm I'm sick of this; I think I'll take up a career in pole dancing...

Suddenly there is a knock at the door.

Kristin: Ewwww... Humans... this better not be another bloody choir...

Kristin goes to look but as it turns out no one is there.

Kristin: Good, now I can get back to not doing my assignment worth 75% of my grade and instead watch guys getting kicked in the balls on youtube!

Kristin turns around to see Laura wearing a green jumper with the image of a cute reindeer on it and a big red Santa hat with added flashing lights feature (oooh).

Kristin: What the hell are you doing here?!!
Laura: I wanted to spend Christmas with you, it's so lonely back at home. My parents took a vacation just to get away from me ='(
Kristin: Dammit Laura! I got a restraining order against you after that horrid time we had at the zoo where you tried to hug me!
Laura: I'm not Laura, I'm a chicken.
Kristin: ......
Laura: =D
Kristin: =|
Laura: I gots you a Christmas present!!!!

Laura lifts up her jumper and out plops the corpse of a human.

Kristin: OH GOD LAURA THAT REEKS!!!
Laura: It's Justin! I'm sorry, he's a bit mutilated but it's the only way I could fit him in my suitcase...
Kristin: Laura! I knew he was dead, but I never suspected it was you that killed him?!
Laura: I didn't kill Justin, you did, remember?
Kristin: How could you say such... oh right, I did.
Laura: Hmm I guess I should throw him away seeing as you don't want him.
Kristin: No wait! I can use him as a coffee table, go stick him near the fireplace.

*Laura proceeds to do so*
*Kristin proceeds to stab Laura's eyes out with a spork*

Meanwhile....

Justine: They mae hav band me on PI, but they havntt hhere! Kritin will b myne!!!!111!14$^&&**!!


Episode Two: An accurate portrayal of the events leading up to the revival of PI

Kristin and Laura are sitting around the fireplace looking at Justin’s rotting corpse.

Laura: He looks.. dead
Kristin: *loosing patience* that’s because he is dead
Laura: Oh. Can I poke him?
Kristin: No.
Laura: Please?
Kristin: No.
Laura: I’ll tell everyone it was you who stabbed out my eyes with a spork.
Kristin: No.
Laura: I’ll tell everyone about your steamy exploitation of that poor Hispanic Asian.
Augh. Fine.
Laura: Yay! *pokes with stick*
Kristin: Are you satisfied?
Laura: Yes =D
Kristin: ….

Little did Kristin know that the said stick was actually Laura’s *magic* wand and this wand had *magic* resurrection abilities and *magically* resurrected Justin’s corpse.

Justin: *is alive* Huh what happened?!! Ugh my aching head. All I remember is going to Kristin’s house for cookies and…
Kristin: Justin.. hi.. what are you doing alive…I mean here ?
Laura: OMG Justin! *suffocates him* I knew you would come back! I knew you were only half dead! See, didn’t I tell you Kristin? :D
Justin: Wait I remember what happened, exactly what happened. Kristin you hoe!
Kristin: Uh oh…
Justin: You promised me cookies and I didn’t get them! You lied to me LIIIIEEED!
Kristin: I’m sorry you di-sweet lovely friend of mine, I’ll get you your cookies >.>

In Kristin’s Laboratory

Kristin: Hmm which is better for making dough rise? Arsenic or cyanide… heck I’ll put both of them in!
Stranger: Ah Kristin, I knew I’d find you here. I’m afraid you owe me greatly. Forget about your little hatred against Justin. I have bigger plans for you. I want you to exterminate all the members of PI. That means even the ones who aren’t currently active as we speak.
Kristin: Hey I’m the only blackmailing bitch here, you... bitch >.>
Stranger: Do it or… I’ll eat your dog.
Kristin: NOT SIR PUGSY!!

In some random windows live messenger chat

Laura: Bla bla blab la OMG check out Simon’s hot ass *drools* bla bla bla
Kristin: Hey… friends… you know we should really make an effort to resurrect PI and get all the members back. Like Bex. Does anyone remember Bex? Good old Bex ha ha.. ha…
Laura: Bla?
Erika: Why? I thought you were glad PI died. I thought you said it was the most splendid day of your life Kristin…
Kristin: Uh… that’s not true. I miss the good old days when we were all friends and every Sunday morning we would go skipping around giving each other tulips whilst singing madonna’s ‘like a virgin’ *fake cries* It’s just so hard!!
Laura: I know! We can start a group on facebook promoting PI’s revival and get everyone to join!
Kristin: No. That’s a moronic suggestion you twat.
Erika: I know! We can start a group on facebook promoting PI’s revival and get everyone to join!
Great idea Erika! Sooo much better than Laura’s stupid boring idea!
Laura: …..


Laura: F*** YOU ALL!!

*curtains close*
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby erikuh ︵✭ on Wed Jan 13, 2010 8:33 am

Baha. I love Kristin. xD

Moar episodes!!
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Shadow on Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:43 pm

I think Kristin has to be my favorite character in these.

Ah ha! So that explains everything. :wha:
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Kristin on Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:18 pm

LOL. But this line was so epic:

Laura: Bla bla blab la OMG check out Simon’s hot ass *drools* bla bla bla

Bwahahaha! Great job, Justin. More more!
I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

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Grazie bella. Now cessare essere di malumore e ritornare a pensare sono delizioso.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear - Jack Canfield
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Kelsey on Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:51 pm

Hahah, I love it. Even though I'm not in it. =p
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Alex on Sat Jan 23, 2010 2:52 pm

How do you come up with these things? :laugh: I want moooaaaarrrrr. *locks Justin in the Dungeon until episode #3's release*
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Justin on Sun Jan 24, 2010 6:50 pm

Episode three

In Kristin’s laboratory

Kristin: *singing while making tookies* Got one-eighty degrees and I’m caught in between singing…
Stranger: Kristin.
Kristin: ARRGH! *flings tookies everywhere*
Stranger: *reveals herself to be none other than Kelsey* You haven’t completed the task the big boss asked you to do. For that. You will die. *pulls out snife*
Kristin: No wait! I’ve been trying, honest to god! Don’t keel me… I’ll let you into imoen’s club early?
Kelsey: Not good enough. *draws in towards Kristin* Oooh are those tookies?!
Yahoo!bot: I WILL SAVE YOU MY LOVE *advertises pornsites to Kelsey causing her to die from shock*
Kristin: Yahoo!bot?! I thought I got a restraining order on you…
Yahoo!bot: Yes but don’t you see I love you?! No little restraining order could keep me away!
Kristin: But yahoo!bot, don’t you see I don’t love you anymore – it could never work out with us.
Yahoo!bot: Why not?!
Kristin: Because you don’t have genitals!!
Yahoo!bot: *commits suicide*
Laura: Hi Kristin! You left the door open and I thought I’d just pop in for some of those delicious cookies you were making for Justin… *observes corpses on the ground*
Kristin: Oh crap… it’s not what it looks like!
Laura: You guys were having a party without me?! =’(
Kristin: *sighs with relief* this is uh an exclusive party. Yes. For experienced members only, no virgins allowed.
Laura: *proceeds to run out the room crying and muttering that Kristin’s a bitch and she forgot to take her cat out of the drying machine*
Kristin: Hmm this is harder than I thought. I’m going to have to get professional help…

In a dark alleyway

Justine: 50fbucks or it’s nothing hun.
Kristin: But but I don’t have any fbucks!
Justine: You want me to take out the forum that’s how much money it’s gonna cost, got it?
Kristin: I can’t pay you sorry! I’ll do anything though, …anything.
Justine: Hmm. See that bed, bottle of shampoo and carrot over there?
Kristin: uhh.. yes?
Justine: Good. I want you to put on this chicken suit and sell those items. That’s how you’re going to earn me tha money bitch.

Meanwhile Alf, Ayo and Erika are conversing about important forum matters on the moderator board

Ayo: More tea alf?
Alf: Ooh yes please. What flavours do you have? =D
Ayo: Hmm vanilla, cinnamon or spearmint.
Alf: Oh oh that’s a very hard decision to make. This could take a while…
Erika: Uhh guys, Justine’s spamming the forum.
Alf: Shhh. We’re busy having tea >.>
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Kristin on Sun Jan 24, 2010 11:31 pm

ROFL. I'd forgotten all about fbucks! Remember what Laura called them? XD Poor yahoo[bot]. :sad: Oh boy I think we need new mods... :ton:
I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

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Grazie bella. Now cessare essere di malumore e ritornare a pensare sono delizioso.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear - Jack Canfield
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Re: Magnum PI - Revived Edition

Postby Justin on Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:41 am

Oh yes I remember! Bit too naughty to say here though... bad Laura :no: tut tut that's why you should have hired me instead of them, I'm not a huge tea drinker =P
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Re: Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

Postby erikuh ︵✭ on Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:53 am

At least I wasn't drinking tea. :( Tea blows. xD

But lolol Yahoo!bot doesn't have genitals.
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Re: Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

Postby Ayo on Wed Jan 27, 2010 1:45 pm

I seriously loled at Laura not taking the cat out of the drying machine.
*sips tea*
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Re: Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

Postby Shadow on Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:55 pm

I loved the part with the moderators. xD
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since no one else belongs here with me"
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Re: Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

Postby Squidggle on Fri Jan 29, 2010 12:55 pm

Lol. So made me laugh. And poor poor yahoo!bot =(
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Re: Magnum PI - Episode 3 up now! Read or Kristin will stab you

Postby Alex on Wed Feb 03, 2010 1:49 pm

Heyy tea drinking is serious business!
It's actually not far from the truth, I had about 10 cups since monday. Early mornings = (x.x)

6000 fucks a dollar. Classyic. :love:
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