The PI Creature Guide

Random: Under the command of the Cowled Wizards of Amn, Spellhold is where the maniacal members are kept. This asylum also houses illegal deviants, found practising magic without a license, and is insanely difficult to get out of.

The PI Creature Guide

Postby Justin on Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:35 am

Over the years there have been many nasty creatures that have decided to invade Pink Imoen. I thought it might be handy to make an informative guide to them.

Dust Bunnies

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Description: Evil puffs of dust really. Dust bunnies like to live and snuggle with one another in the dark and moist crevices of PI and feast mainly upon human skin flakes, hairs and dirt. With the presence of a human, dust bunnies will cling one by one onto the victims face - suffocating them and bringing on severe dust allergies. Dust bunnies being mainly consisted of dust have the ability to go through walls making it very difficult to escape their terror. With the ability to walk through walls however comes the incapability of holding a brain and thus they need to take orders from a master due to not being able to think for themselves. The presence of these is likely the cause of an evil-eh sorcerer lurking the boards who is plotting phorum domination.

Methods of Protection: There is not much you can due, not even the mighty spork can deter your face from being glomped by a dust bunny. Vacuum cleaners can be used as a means of temporary removal but this only causes dust bunnies to reunite with one another and become an even greater menace. The only known way of getting rid of them is by keeling their master.


Zomiguins

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Description: Zombie penguins, yep. Not much to them except for like dust bunnies they require the demands of a master as they only have half a brain and they prefer to gnaw their victims alive and slowly until there is only hair left as they do not like the taste of hair. Particularly butt hair.

Methods of Protection: It is said a silver snife is the ultimate weapon in slaying one of these fugly creatures.


Necrozombies

Description: Incredibly hot zombies. Unlike their birdlike counter parts they do not like the taste of humans and lick the moss and fungus that grows in the PI dungeons. However they are still dangerous in the fact that by simply gazing at them one gets the strong urge to um… ‘Bake cookies’ with them, thus helping their population to exponentially grow until the forum is spammed to full capacity with necrozombie babies *shudder*

Methods of Protection: Wearing sunglasses that lack transparency.


Drop Bears

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Description: Don’t be fooled, these are not cute and cuddly koalas – they are vicious, bloodthirsty man-eaters. In many ways they are like koalas, also from Australia and prefer to sleep 22 hours a day in trees however they have large, razor-sharp fangs and devour their own children. Their primary method of catching their prey, mostly ignorant tourists, is to wait stealthily up in tall trees and drop on top of the victim if they get too close; instantly squishing them to death.

Methods of Protection:

* Stay away from trees! At least the ones that growl back at you. If for some bizarre reason you feel a compelling urge to walk under every tree you see, attempt to avoid the chainsaw of natural selection by lying down under trees and spitting upward. Drop Bears will typically spit back down at you.
* If you suspect an encroaching attack by a Drop Bear, walk on your hands. This totally confuses drop bears, as they begin to wonder if they are actually below you looking up through the ground.
* Always wear a helmet with a screwdriver crafted into it when going for a bushwalk. This is likely to impale the fiend who is attempting to squish you.
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Re: The PI Creature Guide

Postby Kristin on Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:41 pm

Ahahaha so awesome!
I hate the way you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

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Spoiler:
Grazie bella. Now cessare essere di malumore e ritornare a pensare sono delizioso.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear - Jack Canfield
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Re: The PI Creature Guide

Postby Shadow on Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:38 pm

Regular dust bunnies seem like harmless bunny rabbits compared to demonic dust bunnies. :wha:
"I guess I'm under the weather,
since no one else belongs here with me"
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